Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.

Even the brightest magnesium flare can do little against such dark except blind the eyes of the one holding it. Thus one craves what by seeing one has in fact not seen.

To become the spectator of one's own life is to escape the suffering of life.

Nobody can give you freedom, nobody can give you equality or justice. If you are a man, you take it.

The countries that are the least responsible for causing climate change are paying the heaviest price.

I eat Fig Newtons by the sleeve.

I recommend a balance between the therapies that are available, the medicines that are available but not to give up on the body as a result.

Why should I ask the wise men: Whence is my beginning? I am busy with the thought: Where will be my end?

When you like what you like, it makes it easy for your husband to shop for you!

I am all for controlling guns.

Well, every one can master a grief but he that has it.