TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

He uses our past to positively affect our present and secure our future.

An ambassador is an honest man sent to lie abroad for the commonwealth.

I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist. I am willing to fight for peace. Nothing will end war unless the people themselves refuse to go to war.

One does not need buildings, money, power, or status to practice the Art of Peace. Heaven is right where you are standing, and that is the place to train.

I’d never known it was possible to love as he did— with complete devotion yet devoid of promises.

A vote for Mitt Romney is a vote for Satan.

The soul is not the body and it may be in one body or in another, and pass from body to body.

I think all married couples tend to run things by each other in every capacity and we're not different to them.

The aim of living is life itself.

This world of ours has everything except one thing: peace. Everybody wants and needs peace, whether he be a child or an octogenarian.