TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Lots of paths lead to beautiful places, but always remember someone had to make those paths. Have no fear in making your own path.

A moment of anger is a moment of resentment and madness which can burn your heart.

I had come to learn pretty quickly that life has its highs and lows just like the ocean does and sometimes you just have to see how far they'll carry you.

We cannot both preach and administer financial matters.

Think about it - pro wrestling as an Olympic sport would be pretty cool. Look at figure skating or gymnastics - what is it? It's a choreographed performance that is judged.

Being an MP is a good job, the sort of job all working-class parents want for their children -- clean, indoors and no heavy lifting. What could be nicer?

Defeats and failures are great developers of character. They have made the giants of our race by giving Titanic muscles, brawny sinews, and far-reaching intellects.

We are in our Self. We are not in the world.

One day I was asked to pick up $50,000 worth of gold chains for Mr. T. For real!

Your cause of sorrow must not be measured by his worth, for then it hath no end.