TV people in the UK... I'm getting on a lot better with them.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

There is hope for the sinner to be made a saint.

The rarity of what you hold is more powerful than you can imagine. It is a gift for humanity and the most lethal curse to the vampires.

I couldn't bear the thought of Alex looking at me like I was a freak. It was bad enough that the looked at me as Jack's sister.

Love is willing to become to villain so that the one who you love can stay a hero.

I don't know whether I want to improve religion or not. I prefer to get rid of it.

I couldn't make a headphone look like a piece of medical equipment or a toy, as most headphones do.

I love doing comedy. Absolutely love it. After 'Wedding Crashers, ' people suddenly realized that it was something I could do.

Books are the training weights of the mind.

.. if all the information of the cosmos flows through our pores at every moment, then our current notion of our human potential is only a glimmer of what it should be.

I think he intends to run for president... I think Senator McCain cares about the opinions of New Hampshire voters.