Take a shot of vodka and hope for the best.

I am not a sad clown. I am not a sad clown.

I'm still the fat kid from high school who never had a date.

Sure I think it is healthy to speak the truth, and be who you are, and be proud of that.

Look, I'm over 40, I'm single, and I work in musical theater - you do the math!

I have to accept the fact that, no matter what I do, it's going to annoy someone.

I'm one of those old-fashioned homosexuals, not one of the newfangled ones who are born joining parades.

A video taped stage performance is just - you know, it's never gonna be the same as it is if you're sitting there live in the theatre.

It's a cliche, but there really is no handbook about the celebrity thing; you have to figure it out as you go along

I have my aluminum siding business, and that's going like a house afire.

A sitcom is the closest thing for me to doing stage because you work in front of an audience, and if it's well written it can be very satisfying.

When the mind gets a solution [settlement], it is considered religion. It is considered irreligion when the mind does not get a solution.

There's only one way in and one way out of this world.

Love gives without expectation, while hate carries an endless tally of debts.

Good deeds are many, but good lives are few.

My mom would have killed me before, but I'm an adult woman now, and I'm ready to show the world that you can have it all at 40 - be fabulous, 40, and pose for Playboy.

To possess is past the instant; we achieve the joy, immortality contented, were anomaly.

Nothing is more ridiculous in old people that were once good-looking, than to forget that they are not so still.

If anything is worth doing, do it with all your heart.

Ah, my Knight in Shining Armor. What, you don't think I can fend for myself?

Husbands and wives are equal partners. They have different but complementary responsibilities.