Take it from somebody who has been around for a million years: When you get right down to it, food is practically the whole story every time.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

It was a soulless gaze, burning with a wild hatred that shouldn’t be there in anyone who could call themselves a parent.

I'm a weird big guy. Doing rapping, doing movies. Do a lot of stuff. But always do things the right way.

Far too many people have been swept into the post-9/11 system of fear that is the basis of all public policy these days.

There are 20,000 Muslim physicians in the United States, Americans putting their lives in the hands of Muslims every day.

There are no free lunches on welfare.

My mom and I had secret from my dad that we didn't think we were stupid, that we didn't think we needed feminism to be explained to us.

A man can dignify his rank; no rank Can dignify a man.

In Constantinople, more Christians were slaughtered by Christians in the years 342-343 than by all the persecutions by pagans in the history of Rome.

So our virtues lie in the interpretation of the time