Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

The world would have no rainbows if the sky had not storms.

Action is the mother of creation.

I am a man of simple tastes easily satisfied with the best

There was bondage in love; no one had told her that love took away freedom.

The worst evil that you can do, psychologically, is to laugh at yourself. That means spitting in your own face.

A magazine is not just one person. And a fashion shoot is the same!

[The] taste [of the French] is too timid to be true taste--or is but half taste.

A six year old can probably do more on their iPad than you can do and access more. My daughter's swiping away windows and doing all these things that I don't know how to do.

I always imagine that I want to make art that is going to kill you,whether it’s going to do it visually or physically, I’ll take either way.

Tears are often to be found where there is little sorrow, and the deepest sorrow without any tears.