Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Wide differences of opinion in matters of religious, political, and social belief must exist if conscience and intellect alike are not to be stunted, if there is to be room for healthy growth.

We are trying to build peace by inventing new war machines

People aren't overcome by situations or outside forces. Defeat comes from within.

The place I feel most at home is when I have health insurance. I really don't care how I get it, whether it's on film, or television or waiting tables, you know?

Affliction, like the iron-smith, shapes as it smites.

Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.

When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

Sci-fi fans are the most loyal fans on the planet - there's no doubt about it. I've done a few of those conventions, and these people will know the lines!

I like to know what's happening.

Every word you add dilutes the sentence.