Take the wonder drug that cures all your ills, take Jeremiah Peabody's polyunsaturated, quick dissolving, fast acting, pleasant tasting, green and purple pills.

George Jones may be gone but his music will live on forever. What a great voice and a great friend.

Osama, yo Mama didn't raise you right. When you were young, she must have wrapped your turban too tight.

Everything is beautiful in its own way.

People will remember a good comedy song a lot longer than they would some of the so-called straight love songs.

The human brain is a funny thing: it's very susceptible to tempo and melody. You put the right words to it, and it becomes very influential.

Whatever you think, don't never, unless you will.

Do you qualify to be alive or is the limit of your senses so as to survive?

Take your love and put it where the sun don't shine.

I had no idea that I could sustain a career as an artist. But, I loved music and wanted to be in the music business.

If 10% is good enough for Jesus, it oughta be enough for Uncle Sam.

Writing does not exist unless there is someone to read it, and each reader will take something different from a novel, from a chapter, from a line.

Magic doesn’t work when you’re sad.

I fed my yak on my spare Cadbury chocolate 21, 0000ft up Everest. It was a blonde, very sweet female yak. I made it my pet after that.

Truthfulness is the main element of character.

Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.

Patriotism is a word which always commemorates a robbery.

Leave out the parts that readers tend to skip.

I've always been a bit insecure about my smile, but its days like these where all I wanna do is smile.

People seem to think there's a magic formula to writing, i just write 1 word at a time.

It is so easy to forget that this is good that we're alive. We should be enjoying this gift of being alive