Teaching is performance art.

A friend of mine said, no matter what I do I always look like an English teacher. She actually said, you still look like a Campbell's Soup kid.

Moms Mabley said you have to say good things about the dead. I say, 'He's dead. Good.'

I'm really happy that I was raised Catholic because it's given me years of material.

When women go off together we call it separatism. When men go off together we call it Congress.

I consider a CD or a comedy collection as a record of what I've been doing, and I try to wrap it up and start new material.

The Administration's policy on women is often hard to see because it is written in the font size of pharmaceutical ads.

Whenever a woman describes herself as a 'post-feminist' I picture women lashed to posts. Joan of Arc was an early post-feminist.

[On cloning sheep:] Oh great, just what we need - more sheep.

My style has been pretty much like a newspaper. It's got politics in it, it's got media, sports, family relations, you know, all the sections you would expect, and wonderful religion things.

So few people voted in the elections [of 1996] that the ones who did were called activists.

I am grateful for all the goodness of God.

I was raised to be ashamed of my ignorance, and to try to do something about it if at all possible.

Don’t let your dreams be forsaken by the starry nights

So these Red Sox... are they a Communist organization?

Pain and suffering are the dark strands through the tapestry of your life, providing the shadows that give depth and dimension to the masterpiece God is fashioning within you.

I'm a lot older than my little brothers and sister, so I think I grew up babysitting them.

My people worship, but not in a church. They worship the beauty of existence.

Feelings are determined by how one chooses to respond to various situations and events.

Like everyone else, I get swept along just trying to keep up with that endlessly growing to-do list, but I do my best to treat the day as one big meditation or symphony.

I've always been attracted to sad. If you look at Woody Allen movies, he's often playing a sad clown, and it's always been interesting. And angry clown is even more interesting.