Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Men are mortal. So are ideas. An idea needs propagation as much as a plant needs watering. Otherwise both will wither and die.

I really believe that you have to earn things. I don't feel comfortable unless I have worked really hard.

This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.

The printed page seems to have come to something of a dead end for all of us.

When you’re O.C.D., you want the most beautiful animals.

If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac.

I have always thought, "If the city cannot come to the country, then the country must come to the city."

I think I'm pretty laid back. I like cooking, being at home, and going to concerts. And I love to shop!

Dignities are like faces; no two are the same.

It's always unfortunate when something gets misreported and the facts are not clear.