Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick; Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.

What do you call a comedian who runs for president? A trump card.

Trump appeals to right-wingnuts because when the going gets tough, they wig out.

Did evangelical Christians mistake Donald Trump's hairpiece for a halo, while ignoring the obvious signs that he worships Mammon?

Donald Trump has taken the Peter Principle to unprecedented heights. Or is it depths?

If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it.

It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.

Trump appeals to the disaffected by loudly trumpet-ing what they want to hear: other people are always the problem, and the solution is to either put them in their proper place or get rid of them.

Many presidents have believed in God, but Donald Trump evidently believes that he is God.

It's simply not true that Donald Trump has no experience in foreign affairs. Hell, two of his foreign affairs resulted in marriages!

When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better.

In the mirror we see a stranger, Not the person we were born to be, For we are all pretending, Just for everyone to see.

Who is the most worthy of admiration, musician or audience?Probably the musician will tell that his audience and the musician that his audience

There are often great lessons to be learned at the roots of stress, drama, and heartache. Don’t let the magnitude of the circumstance blind you to the value of the lesson.

In 1973 we moved to the British Isle of Man, and I put my first band together for one year, named Melody Fair.

A typical day in the life of a heavy metal musician consists of a round of golf and an AA meeting.

Our big social institutions do not reflect human nature; they distort it.

Mother always said she was a size 7 woman she kept wrapped in fat to prevent bruising.

If you try to make music and try to convey to everyone that everything is all peachy-keen, you might come off like you're full of it, and that could be something that draws listeners away.

The sea was indistinguishable from the sky, except that the sea was slightly creased as if a cloth had wrinkles in it.

Dying is no big deal. The least of us will manage that. Living is the trick.