Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.

Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.

A match as a penBlood on the floor as inkThe forgotten gauze cover as paperBut what should I write?I might just manage my addressThis ink is strange

History would be a revelation of the future as much as it was a study of the past.

Development is better than Girl-friend

There are people with their iPads are taking pictures so much that they're not experiencing the moment. They go home and look at the pictures later.

There are hundreds who can stand failure to one who can stand success; the good loser is far more common than the good winner.

The greatest step toward accomplishment is self-confidence .

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.

There is no pain in the wound received in the moment of victory.

I think that in politics, when people want to discredit a particular position, they say, "Oh, they are liberals," or "They are conservatives; we are centrists." Everybody wants to be a centrist.

i happen to enjoy categorization.