Tell Yao Ming, 'Ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-soh.'

The Big Cactus... because if you come too close, you're gonna get stuck.

I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA.

They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.

The stats win nothing. I'm still sexy. I'm still great.

You know, I'm very photogenic.

No one calls me out, I'm from LSU.

I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet.

I'm not going to try to go out there and outdo him. I don't have to try to outdo him, I'm Shaq.

This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what's best for them, including me.

I'm going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year - I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.

I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country.

After I came back [to China], there was still a long period of time when I felt I had nothing to do.

To go to L.A. and be on the Addams Family set? It was beautiful production design and an illustrious set. I'm focused on never losing that sense of privilege. I'm still like, "I'm super lucky."

Congress is unable to do the work of the American people because too many politicians believe that compromise means capitulation.

Theologians always try to turn the Bible into a book without common sense.

[Twitter] is not totally where I go anymore to sell myself as a concept, as a comedian, because it moves too fast.

It is not lust alone that one should be afraid of in the life of the world. There is also anger. Anger arises when obstacles are placed in the way of desire.

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

To tell the truth I never had it so good. But I lacked the strength of character to bear such joy.

The barn where I work, it's only 15 minutes or so from Harvard square, so It's very close to the center of Boston, but it happens to be a total oasis. It's completely quiet in there.