Tell someone you are going to rob them and all that will happen is that you'll get a reputation as a truthful man.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

What you don't deal with today, will live to deal with tomorrow.

Loving a man shouldn't have to be this rough

...I hear the sounds of melting snow outside my window every night and with the first faint scent of spring, I remember life exists...

God didn't create monsters. Monsters created themselves.

I'm passionate about everything, actually. I'm passionate about life.

I like the idea of love standing the test of time and circumstances.

I never make moral judgments; I'm not qualified to do so. I am not a censor, a priest, or a politician.

In the past the man has been first; in the future the system must be first.

Rule yourself. Love your neighbor. Do the duty that lies nearest you.

Old Cob tucked away his bowl of stew with the predatory efficency of a lifetime bachelor.