Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

My students often ask me, 'What is sociology?' And I tell them, 'It's the study of the way in which human beings are shaped by things that they don't see.

Then in college I became obsessed with film, and wanted to be part of that.

When inspiration comes life is lived in the moment and peace descends. When inspiration leaves thoughts turn to violently killing time

I don't do any vulgar movements.

The child must come first above all else. And pace yourself every day. There is quite a lot you will have to give up.

Unfortunately, most men would only be interested in a woman's mind if it bounced when she walked.

I, you, he, she, we In the garden of mystic lovers, these are not true distinctions.

The Shariah has many other functions but also protects the tarqiah; it protects the spiritual path.

Whosoever enjoys not this life, I count him but an apparition, though he wear about him the sensible affections of flesh. In these moral acceptions, the way to be immortal is to die daily.

A writer doesn't really have much of a function on a movie set.