Texting has become my favorite way to communicate. I feel like many of my relationships are based in this, because in a sense it feels the closest to actual conversation that isn't the phone.

The villain is the person who knows the most but cares the least.

Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.

The essays are very solipsistic and self-absorbed, I'm totally conscious of that. To me, book writing is fun, and I basically just write about things that are entertaining to myself.

Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.

Seeing no resolution to my existential recognition of loss, I decide to eat lunch.

First, you must love yourself. And if you do that convincingly enough, others will love you too much.

People who talk about their dreams are actually trying to tell you things about themselves they’d never admit in normal conversation.

I love the way music inside a car makes you feel invisible; if you plan the stereo at max volume, it's almost like the other people can't see into your vehicle. It tints your windows, somehow.

The most wretched people in the world are those who tell you they like every kind of music 'except country.' People who say that are boorish and pretentious at the same time.

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

No matter how good you act to be tough, your emotions will flow without your control...

Makin' mistakes ain't a crime, you know. What's the use of having a reputation if you can't ruin it every now and then?

I continuously go further and further learning about my own limitations, my body limitation, psychological limitations. It's a way of life for me.

Terrorism is about magnifying one mediagenic act of violence into one hundred billion acts of terrorized authoritarian idiocy.

When in company, put not your hands to any part of the body, not usually discovered.

The act of reading is a partnership. The author builds a house, but the reader makes it a home.

The gospel is not a doctrine of the tongue, but of life.

Though I did not know the place, I set out for the land of my dreams. Having arrived at the land of my dreams, I found I did not know the place

I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking.'

If you keep on drinking rum, the world will soon be quit of a very dirty scoundrel!