Thank you for listening to Comedy Bang Bang! My name is Scott Aukerman and I will see you next week.

You see people who are disenfranchised elsewhere coming to Comic Con and making lifetime friends. I love seeing the outcasts of society all bonding together.

Intimacy is really good. But then again, the first disk on the record is not intimate in the least. It's a really good CD.

Not everyone can be as successful a performer as myself, who gave 10 great performances the first time I ever did comedy, and then toiled in obscurity for years.

The podcast was kind of an afterthought, because I was just excited about being on the radio. Then I found that the podcast listenership is some 20 times what people are listening to on the radio.

Things go away and projects crumble and disappear, or you make your movie and it comes out and no one watches it.

That's one of the benefits of working with a smaller network like IFC. You're awarded more trust, but trust that I really earned.

I guess when I was a kid I wasn't the type of person playing a lot of pranks. I was the type of person upon whom pranks were pulled.

I love all of our subpodcasts.

Your average comedian doesn't know the podcast universe, really.

The best sketch shows are from a group of tight-knit people whove worked together for a really long time.

When you forgive, you love. And when you love, God’s light shines upon you.

The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes.

Out last chance is a cat's magic sight. We are doomed.

Ignorance defends itself savagely, and illiteracy, as I well knew, can be shrewd.

You can't grasp the wonderful and keep your feet on the ground.

A wicked man in prayer may lift up his hands but he cannot lift up his face.

Credit is a matter so subtle in its essence, that, as it may be obtained almost without reason, so, without reason, may it be made to melt away.

Pain in life is inevitable but suffering is not.

Private enterprise did not get us atomic energy.

To make three guineas do the work of five.