Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

The book to read is not the one that thinks for you but the one which makes you think.

In the country of the blind the one-eyed man is king.

I do not like violence.

There is nothing inherently sacred about moral codes. Like the wooden idols of long ago, they are the work of human hands, and what man has made, man can destroy!

When I arrived in America, I had these very dark red nails which some people objected to, but then some people object to absolutely everything.

we're too great a nation to allow the evil-doers to affect our soul and our spirit.

Unless the vessel be pure, everything which is poured into it will turn sour.

All that you are seeking is also seeking you.

When you are a character actor they trust you will go in and give them a full character and leave.

I don't see how an epigram, being a bolt from the blue, with no introduction or cue, ever gets itself writ.