Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.

If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.

If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.

In an era when the regular worthy rhythm of life is less eye-catching than doing something extraordinary, I am reassured that I am merely the second sovereign to celebrate a diamond jubilee.

My butt has a maximum drive time of seven hours.

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but paranoia was what tied it up in a sack and buried it in wet concrete.

She who received the seed of eternal glory Now dispenses grace, the seed of glory-to-come. My womb was the chalice of the impenetration of God That became the Incarnation of God and man

When you broadcast your book reading voluntarily, it creates moments of fascinating serendipity.

We learn how to kiss, or to drink, talk to our buddies-all the things that you can't really teach in social studies or history-we all learn them at the movies.

For a woman to be at once a coquette and a bigot is more than the humblest of husbands can bear; she should mercifully choose between the two.

Standards of conduct appropriate to civil society or the workings of a democracy cannot be purely and simply applied to the Church.

Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it.

It was possible at last to hear the silence to appreciate that there was a silence, deep and potent, out there beyond the pretension of the light.