That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

Truth resides in every human heart, and one has to search for it there, and to be guided by truth as one sees it.But no one has a right to coerce othersto act according to his own view of truth.

We're all just passing time and occupy our chair very briefly.

Weird people follow you in the streets, you can't sit alone in a restaurant or a cafe and read a book in peace, and I think everybody values those moments of being alone.

To be ready is one thing, to be able to wait is another; but to seize the right moment is everything.

Faith is the willingness to look foolish.

I learned from you that I do not crumble. I learned that strength is somthing you choose.

Discipline and consistency is what's expected out of a player.

Good and evil exists everywhere.

Allow the purity of evil to guide you.

Beautiful thoughts build a beautiful soul. ...There's always something beautiful to be experienced wherever you are.