That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

I'm not an athiest. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.

I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books.

The past actually happened. History is what someone took the time to write down.

The very fact that the jaguar can become extinct while the Pekingese survives indicates to me that someone hasn't thought this thing through.

A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because he was a lawyer.

Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's very embarrassing.

The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking. It's a ritual known as 'Bobbing for Baptists.'

If I was on the road to Hell, at least I was going in style.

Heaven without love : what a hell. (Paradis sans amour : voilà ce qu'est l'enfer)

Messi or Ronaldo best player in the world? In the world, I would say Ronaldo. Messi is from another planet.

The individual who can do something that the world wants done will, in the end, make his way regardless of his race.

But sometimes even the sky is dangerous. I look up and see your face in the stars.

Wayne's like my son, Brooklyn, who goes out in the garden to play and have fun.

To improve at chess you should in the first instance study the endgame.

I change, like every single normal person.

I just wanted to be a good comic and had no sense of show business, but at some point you want the opportunity to write a show about your life.

I can't see myself not rappin' and not talking the bullshit I'm talking. I love that! I can't lie. Once I stop I'm just going to stop all the way.