That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it.

The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less than five.

Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!

Sometimes big trees grow out of acorns - I think I heard that from a squirrel.

Hats off to drug abusers everywhere.

Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.

He slides into second with a stand-up double.

And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in the eighth 4 to 4.

Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?

There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.

Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.

God finds a way to weave even your mistakes into the fabric of a brighter future if you let Him.

I’d seen weirder things than a haunted shoe, but not many.

I am a terrible judge of character' "I don't think so. You just need to take note of FACTS from the outset, not feelings.

Villon our sad bad glad mad brother's name.

Never mind what my name is,” the man said. “No one can pronounce it anyway. Just call me Sir.

A weed is no more than a flower in disguise, Which is seen through at once, if love give a man eyes.

I do think it's important for young women to know that magazine covers are retouched. People don't really look like that.

Hell, I don't break the soil periodically to 'reaffirm my status'. I do it because archeology is still the most fun you can have with your pants on.

You are a fool in four letters, my son.

It is a glorious thing To be a Pirate King.