That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

The most twisted but perennial of American myths is that everyone has an equal opportunity to succeed. (p. 174)

Question: Where do I go from here?Answer: Out of your comfort zone. In the direction of your dreams.

I just like movies that somehow expose the world in a way that's different than you imagine it.

I have never been a professional model; I have had some modeling sessions.

I was going to move back to Dallas, and my goal was to work at Channel 8 and be a sportscaster and cover my Cowboys and live happily ever after.

When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments.

I sucked in the smell of her perfume, Viva La Juicy, and was swept away. La Juicy was part of my oxygen supply, even for the year and a half we were apart.

Have gentle utterances that will inspire a superior longing for all time.

The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men - from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.

Honor the physical temple that houses you by eating healthfully, exercising, listening to your body's needs and treating it with dignity and love.