That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

If you surrender your life to God, you have joy of His presence.

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage.

I am immortal! I know it! I feel it!

That is love, to give away everything, to sacrifice everything, without the slightest desire to get anything in return.3

I played with the image, because I think image is temporary. It's a projection. It's illusory.

Righteousness and generosity are inseparable. The person whose heart longs for God also longs to give to others.

Women are more verbal than men. That's why when you see an elderly couple together, it's always the man who has the hearing aid.

Fire is a natural symbol of life and passion, though it is the one element in which nothing can actually live.

Contemplative prayer [oración mental] in my opinion is nothing else than a close sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with him who we know loves us.

Chance is a word void of sense; nothing can exist without a cause.