That's the thing that most people don't realize. In real life, comedians aren't funny. They save it. They save it up.

A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I can't help it.

I'm not sure why I like cats so much. I mean, they're really cute obviously. They are both wild and domestic at the same time.

I like the comedians that go into detail and tell longer stories.

Love is such a confusing word. You think I'm joking but I'm not.

I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world.

In real life, comedians aren't funny.

I knew that if I was going to write a book, I was going to have to read one, too.

I tend to a lot of improvisational ranting, and that's fun. For me, stand-up has been, performance-wise, a really good outlet.

I like doing all different types of comedy - stand-up, sketch, movies, TV. I like to try everything.

Cats are unpredictable because they're wild and domestic at the same time. Watching a cat's behavior is like a small window into the wild.

Travel with your thoughts to great land.

We all have this restful mind, but sometimes our fears and our ego mind get the better of us and we can’t see it.

If a man consults whether he is to fight, when he has the power in his own hands, it is certain that his opinion is against fighting.

I think that if I would talk on a political subject, if I talk about it, it would divide the audience on that issue. That's not my issue.

Like the bee its sting, the promiscuous leave behind them in each encounter something of themselves by which they are made to suffer.

I like handling newborn animals. Fallen into life from an unmappable world, they are the ultimate immigrants, full of wonder and confusion.

If masturbation is a crime then I should be on death row.

One day you are drinking the wine, and they next day you are picking the grapes.

The big honour of the big revolutions belongs to the high intelligence who design the revolution, not to the masses who support and participate the revolution!

Success doesn’t count unless you earn it fair and square.