That's the trouble with Nick. The only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

I didn't quit drinking because I was a bad drunk. I quit because I was a spectacular drunk. It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it's not even a challenge any more.

The world's No. 1 tennis player spends 90 percent of his time winning, while the world's No. 1 golfer spends 90 percent of his time losing. Golfers are great losers.

I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler.

I don't suffer from a mental illness, I live with it.

I have a healthy disrespect for religion. I really do. When Columbus came to this country in 1492 he brought syphilis, diphtheria, tuberculosis, influenza and Christianity. The diseases were curable.

It's hard to tell who's going to win this week, but it probably won't be a big, fat guy.

The course is so long, I had to take the curvature of the Earth into consideration.

Worst haircut I've ever seen in my life. And I've had a few bad ones. It looks like he (John Daly) has a divot over each ear.

If god wanted people to believe in him, why'd he invent logic then?

Law and justice are not the same.

I desired dragons with a profound desire.

To realize that all people are alike and all are different is the beginning of wisdom.

Economies are supposed to serve human ends.. not the other way round. We forget at our peril that markets make a good servant, a bad master and a worse religion.

So must people hate their jobs.That's why they're called it jobs

Nearly every major breakthrough innovation has been preceded by a string of failed or misguided executions.

If kisses were what you were looking for, little fool, why didn't you come to me? quoted by Susannah Simon

Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied.

All warfare is based on deception. If your enemy is superior, evade him. If angry, irritate him. If equally matched, fight and if not: split and re-evaluate.

An optimist sees the oportunity in every difficulty.