That's what I don't like about magic, it does everything by magic!

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

To live with hope is to seek heavenly help.

Alan Rittenhouse: I know you're just a reporter, but you used to be a person, right?

It matters not what goal you seek Its secret here reposesYou've got to dig from week to week To get Results or Roses.

Whenever my phone blinks fist thought come to mind is u and only u.

I'd want to collaborate with Eminem, of all people. Maybe even Lauryn Hill. But career-wise, I'd say I'd want to have something most like Madonna.

I'd wake up in the morning and I would think, 'Where am I?' I'd have to gather myself.

Wake up meat head, don't pretend that you are dead.

Elvis is bound to be dead. Look at all the vultures in his vicinity.

The leopard does not change his spots.

There is a world elsewhere.