That's what social media is, that's what Twitter is, that's what Facebook posts are. It's just really anti-intellectual.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

There is sanctity in knowing, being, wanting, feeling all of everything for you.

Leaders always look twice – because sometimes it is good from far but far from good – at a second look.

It is a sad day for our country when the moral foundation of our law and the acknowledgment of God has to be hidden from public view to appease a federal judge.

To say that I am organized is an understatement, but my car tells a different story.

I've retroactively made all that wasted time rotting my brain into research. It makes me a hypocrite when I try to tell my own daughter, "I don't know, I think we've played a little too much Mario."

The worst solitude is to have no real friendships.

Love and a sense of calmness are the only things you need to bring to the experience of death.

I keep all my poems in my journals and lock them away. They are the start of everything.

Whenever there was a crisis, I found a man to help me take the edge off the feelings of helplessness and pain.

I really like just super dry comedy.