That’s what you people do, isn’t it? Make assumptions and sell them to impressionable idiots.

A good friend is someone who gets ya drunk and then walks ya home afterwards.

If the only option you leave poor people with is to resort to violence in order to survive, they’ll do just that. And there are lots more poor people in this world than there are rich ones.

A joke is a witticism or play on words that’s meant to be funny. I say ‘meant to be’ because most jokes aren’t funny. They range between mildly amusing and grimace-inducingly annoying.

You shouldn’t say mean things to people before they kill you. It’s being a sore loser.

Let them come. We’ve got helicopters, tanks, jets, and big guns. We’ve got armies of robots. What do they have but their stench and the squalor they live in?

There’s a big difference between being numb to something and being immune to it.

Well you know what they say. It’s always raining somewhere.

You’ll find a way. You’ll always find a way. And on the rare occasions when you can’t, you’ll have friends who will.

We all end up dying in the end. It’s just a question of how and when.

As far as I know, there’s nothing more dangerous than a man who doesn’t care if he lives or dies.

You can take my life, but you'll never break me. So bring me your worst...And I will definitely give you mine.

Creativity is the only way a man can ever experience motherhood.

Toots Shore's restaurant is so crowded nobody goes there anymore.

I was a little, skinny, runt kid, and I decided that bowling was what I was going to do in life.

Better a sovereign in squalor than a slave in splendor.

Courage is the decision to fly straight into the flame while knowing the consequences.

The late 20th century sea level rise rate lacks any sign of acceleration. Satellite altimetry indicates virtually no changes in the last decade.

Changing from a player to a coach, I felt like a mosquito in a nudist colony. I didn't know where to begin.

The best prose is written by authors who see their universe with a poet’s eyes.

never adopt a strategy that you would not want your opponents to use against you