That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.

I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!

I used to psych myself up before the show and now I do the complete opposite: I psych myself down. It's 12:30 at night, you don't want some guy yelling at you. You want some guy just talking to you.

From 1934 to 1963, the biggest criminals in America ended up on Alcatraz. Nowadays they end up on Wall Street.

I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

A new survey says one in three adults will be dressing up for Halloween. As for me, I'm not going to do anything. I'm going as Congress.

This story is true. Of course, there are many lies therein and most of it did not happen, but it's all true. In that sense it is deeply religious, perhaps even biblical.

There's something spiritual in hard work. Spirituality isn't all aromatherapy and scented candles.

There's something I believe wholeheartedly: Cynicism is the true refuge of the pseudo-intellectual, .. Cynicism is easy. Joy is an extremely advanced spiritual and intellectual tenet.

HD doesn't mean anything to me. It's a technical thing. It's like demographics. A lot of people know about it.

I didn't say no because between safety and adventure I choose adventure.

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.

Once you connect with your mind, you are who you are and you’re free.

Living in a small town [in India] was like living in a glass house!

Distance is a great promoter of admiration.

She's incredible, not that she's perfect. But you once said imperfections create character.

I write and rewrite and rewrite and write and like to turn in what I think is finished work.

Rank and riches are chains of gold, but still chains.

When a woman removes her garment, she also removes the respect that is hers.

The Iraqis have once again failed to meet a deadline for a final draft of the constitution.

the heart never grows old.