That's why when I talk to younger comics, and they say, 'Well I need this and this, and I need so and so,' I tell them they don't need nothing. All you need is some great idea and go shoot it.

Challenge yourself with something you know you could never do, and what you'll find is that you can overcome anything son.

A kid asked me for advise about getting into entertainment? I said you better know how to be happy being broke!

Rise and grind... the money ain't gonna wait for you while you sleep son.

The best thing about where comedy is now is if you have a little bit of talent and a strong work ethic, and strong social skills, you can make a name for yourself and you can make money.

Tiger Woods is stupid; not for cheating, but for having one cell phone. What type of player you know has one cell phone?

Chicks can make you flip more than any drug would.

Live life to the fullest everyday, 'cause we never know what day will be our last.

If Elvis is alive, Tupac is alive. I saw Tupac on 46th Street selling Biggie t-shirts 2 for 10 dollars.

When I started off in DC, you didn't get viral first. You got funny first.

I just had a baby girl. My daughter weighed 27 pounds. She was 3 years old. She was delivered to me by way of the court system and a blood test.

So often, the discarded love of youth is desperately yearned for in maturity.

Have you ever felt in your inmost being, the conscience of others?' again she was trembling, the words were not releasing her. 'It's intolerable you know

Slowly, Anna put up a hand to his muzzle and began to scratch that spot behind the ear where large dogs keep their souls.

My humor is channeling everything through my brain. For example, when I talk about something, it's how Richard Lewis feels about it. I'm a storyteller. I do a lot of free association.

A rose is but a rose, it blooms because it blooms; it thinks not of itself, nor asks if it is seen.

I have aspirations of making a big, historical epic. I don't know if I'll ever get the money to do it.

I'm wishing every Saturday had primaries, because welcome to an amazing Sunday, where everything seems a tad bit clearer this morning.

When I wake up, I wake to something worse. It’s the astonishment of being myself

I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing.

Merit rather enforces respect than attracts fondness.