That's why you and I had friction? God, I always thought it was 'cause, 'cause I fooled around with your daughter freshman year.

I don't expect success. I prepare for it.

Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.

I dragged my wife from our honeymoon in Africa and landed her in Ontario, Canada, when it was -40 degrees.

Laughing can serve you in dark moments and even help you crawl your way back out.

Everyone thinks their baby is a genius. People find it delightfully refreshing when I tell them, My baby? Totally average. Like, 100 percent average.

I just love bikes. It's not the safest passion to have, but I guess it's better than Russian roulette.

There are so few surprises left in life. We've gotten so addicted to knowing. It's the Google generation. We want the answer to everything right now!

If it weren’t so off-putting for my co-workers. I’d wear my flannel, one-piece 'Hannah Montana' pajamas, like, all the time!

I've done things to my body, mechanically, that I'll never do again. I've done stunts that I shouldn't have done 10, 11, 12 times. I've broken a ton of bones on sets.

Guys are lucky: We can wear a suit over and over, just with different shirts and ties.

Lips that have tasted the salt of tears always give the sweetest kiss.

Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure.

To think of him in the middle of the day lifts me out of ordinary living.

That children shall be compelled to receive religious instruction which is in antagonism to the wishes of their parents, is what no man with say sense of justice would suggest.

Rock 'n' roll will never die. There'll always be some arrogant little brat who wants to make music with a guitar.

I have a bad back partially from playing the drums and singing. I used to have to hold my body in such a position that my spine got out of alignment.

It's best if you can do things with a sense of humor and finesse.

And it happened all the time that the compromise between two perfectly rational alternatives was something that made no sense at all.

Nobody can miss you unless you go away.

Who said time machines haven't been built yet? They already exist. They're called books