The Apologizer Bunny keeps going and going and going.

A home without a grandmother is like an egg without salt.

If you ever meet someone who cannot understand why solitary confinement is considered punishment, you have met a misanthrope.

I simply like guns because you can't shoot people without them.

I wasn't used to children and they were getting on my nerves. Worse, it appeared that I was a child, too. I hadn't known that before; I thought I was just short.

Writers who have nothing to say always strain for metaphors to say it in.

If we define a misanthrope as 'someone who does not suffer fools and likes to see fools suffer,' we have described a person with something to look forward to.

The more immoral we become in big ways, the more puritanical we become in little ways.

God may have loved the common people, but a trip to any shopping mall suggests that He made far too many of them.

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

Democracy is the fig leaf of elitism.

This is the day the Lord has made, suck it up and rejoice.

She had been married so often she bought a drip-dry wedding dress.

You can get so many sounds out of one record. Every record can be used in some way.

Cowards are cruel, but the brave love mercy and delight to save.

I desperately wish I had my tambourine with me now, because even after everything I'm still wearing heavy boots, and sometimes it helps to play a good beat

I got caught up in the proletariat the way Marx describes it.

We must rely less on spreadsheets and funding formulas and more on common sense.

Get beyond love and grief: exist for the good of Man.

It's wonderful to be alive and to walk on earth.

Young children were sooner allured by love, than driven by beating, to attain good learning.