The Battle of Koom Valley is the only one known to history where both sides ambushed each other.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

One final time I told myself I wasn't abducting my little brother.

If you invent the Mini Cooper, pour all your energy and passion into it and it gets made, you should be on a roll. In the film industry you have to start again the next day.

I'm interested in how innocence fares when it collides with hard reality.

It is but a truism that labor is most productive where its wages are largest. Poorly paid labor is inefficient labor, the world over.

Life is simply what out feelings do to us.

I had a hard time with bullying. I ate lunch in the bathroom.

I come from a family of working women, my mum went to work two weeks after I was born - my parents had no money, there was no choice.

Fatherhood has taught me when it's too quiet my kids are usually sinning. God the Father knows the same. Are you praying?

If all the historic books of the Bible were blotted from the memory of mankind, nothing of value would be lost.

I find that with some girls, the words work and education have gotten a bad rap.