The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you're into the Beatles, you loved them from beginning to end.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

The death of one is a tragedy, but death of a million is just a statistic.

The chief enemy of creativity is good sense.

Likewise the leader of any state has to do the same, he has to enforce Shariah firmly, for he will be held in account later in the afterlife if he fails.

A foolish man thinks he knows everything. A wise man knows he doesn't.

Whatever it is your doing out there, don't lose hope, you just keep digging and things can work out. I'm proof.

Gender is a social construct, but everyone likes to cuddle.

The Ignis Fatuus is a vapor shining without heat.

Chicago is a lot of my background as a chef.

I was there when I said it.