The Benson and Hedges Cup was won by McEnroe ... he was as charming as always, which means that he was as charming as a dead mouse in a loaf of bread.

Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right.

Snooker is just chess with balls.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

The British secret service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB

A sceptic finds Dallas absurd. A cynic thinks the public doesn't

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.

Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.

They had a... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available.

The mind is a useful tool but not a very good friend.

Stupid to speak of blame when the wills of the immortals are involved.

Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death.

The greatness of an artist or a writer does not depend on what he has in common with other artists and writers, but on what he has peculiar to himself.

A map says to you. Read me carefully, follow me closely, doubt me not... I am the earth in the palm of your hand.

I would rather be British than just.

Political economy has only become a science since it has been confined to the results of inductive investigation.

The world is weary of the past, Oh, might it die or rest at last!

I am a man of simple pleasures. The best suits me perfectly.

So long as there are nobles and commoners, the wealthy and the poor, those with power will be heard, and those without ignored. That's the world.