The Book of Mormon is so good it makes me f**king angry.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Such silence has an actual sound, the sound of disappearance.

God’s constant wealth is accessible to us, if we cultivate His holiness in our lives

'Catcher in the Rye.' I feel like any brooding teen loves that book.

When we believe ourselves in possession of the only truth, we are likely to be indifferent to common everyday truths.

To know someone here or there with whom you can feel there is understanding in spite of distances or thoughts expressed That can make life a garden.

You have something special. You have greatness in you. You have the ability to do more than you can ever begin to imagine.

Growth is a funny sort of concept. For example, our GNP increases every time we build a prison. Well, okay, it's growth in a sense.

Is there a difference? Yes. We are in harmony with nature, but never at peace.

I've never been to jail. I've never been arrested. I've never been locked up.

Most movies are lucky to have one moment, one shot that you look at and you always remember that moment and that scene.