The French are a logical people, which is one reason the English dislike them so intensely. The other is that they own France, a country which we have always judged to be much too good for them.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret of happiness. Then if you're not a good mixer you can always fall back on your own company.

I don’t work. I merely inflict myself on the public.

The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.

The ball is man's most disastrous invention, not excluding the wheel.

A party: one arrives long after it's started, and one's going to leave long before it's over.

Every child should be placed on a doorstep to sell something. It's the best possible training for life.

When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of the mess I am in now, he thought for a long time, and I didn't care much for his answer. 'Yes,' he said. 'Death would help.'

Most owners are at length able to teach themselves to obey their dog.

Show me the man who has enjoyed his schooldays and I will show you a bully and a bore.

My business is to paint what I see, not what I know is there.

Fix your course to a star and you can navigate through any storm

Master books but do not let them master you. Read to live not live to read.

Oh, the pleasure of eating my dinner alone!

I watched children dying. That will be the image that will stay with me

I'm an expert. I can kill anybody and not be caught.

I haven't talked much about being an ovarian cancer survivor because I don't really want to define myself that way.

The true test of any scholar's work is not what his contemporaries say, but what happens to his work in the next 25 or 50 years.

I don't have to say I'm going to make a song. A song is always there. I just have to open my mouth and a song comes out.

Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends