The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings.

A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.

There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows.

All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.

Remember that the most important thing is to try and love other people as much as they love you.

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.

Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.

A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the fit.

At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.

Thank goodness for the first snow, it was a reminder--no matter how old you became and how much you'd seen, things could still be new if you were willing to believe they still mattered.

It is only when the mirror has not spoken to Chimpanzee in a plain language that it thinks it looks more better than the Gorilla

I was a dummy in school.

Many things that I have accomplished in my life were not because I knew they would make me happy, but because it made my enemies unhappy.

I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .

When a person is carrying their sin, it can be quite a load...I don't know what else to do with your sin but confess and ask God to forgive it.

Martin O'Neill, standing, hands on hips, stroking his chin.

My nickname is The Fonz. My sister Lori nicknamed me it when I was younger and it stuck.

Now with tabloids and seeing people walking around in sweats pumping gas you're like, 'Okay, they're just like us.'

I dressed and went for a walk - determined not to return until I took in what Nature had to offer.