The Humane Society of America thinks Michael Vick should have a dog. I think whoever's in charge there should have a lobotomy.

A kid in an abusive home has far fewer rights than any POW. There is no Geneva Convention for kids.

The third person narrator, instead of being omniscient, is like a constantly running surveillance tape.

I don't understand people whose gratification is a BMW. You don't know what joy is until you see a kid who was tortured get adopted by a family.

Family' is not just a biological word, it's an an operative one.

Life is a fight, but not everyone’s a fighter. Otherwise, bullies would be an endangered species.

When you hunt predators, the best camouflage is weakness.

A dog is like a person—he needs a job and a family to be what he’s meant to be.

Children know the truth: love is not an emotion, love is behavior.

Camouflage doesn't help when the other guy is willing to defoliate the whole jungle.

It's the family you choose that counts.

I suggest to my students that they write under a pseudonym for a week. That allows young men to write as women, and women as men. It allows them a lot of freedom they don't have ordinarily.

People think we had a love-hate relationship. Well, I did not love him, nor did I hate him. We had mutual respect for each other, even as we both planned each other's murder.

I have 20, 000 girlfriends, all around the world.

When you are filled with soul energy you become magnetic.

To be human is to be aware of the passage of time; no concept lies closer to the core of our consciousness.

When you take the elevator to the top, please remember to send it back down so someone else might use it.

I read Christopher McDougall's book 'Born to Run.' If running were a religion, this would be its bible. I actually scribbled my favorite passages on my arm to read during the race.

There's a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can't make any bread helping the poor.

There is no other art with as great a democratic capacity as photography.

I'm hosting a quiz show, but I never considered myself a game show host.