The Jews are just clumsy bakers.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

So they finally gave you the license to kill, about time.

Fantasizing about the future is not wrong until and unless you are not missing the beauty of the present!

If we don’t fight lawlessness, it prevails.

He was not of an age, but for all time!

You can get some spiked up greens even with no metal spikes, it just depends.

Even when you look for it, you're never prepared for it.

Dreamers are those who have achieved in love and life, because it is a dream that got them there.

A nation will prosper to the degree that it honors it's teachers.

Travelers never did lie, though fools at home condemn them.

Quite possibly, what I call happiness may coincide with what others call the moment of imminent danger