The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Truth is straight like a line. Virtue is firm like a wall. Wisdom is tall like a mountain. Love is wide like an ocean.

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

I think La Liga is the best league in the world.

I enjoy going to Palm Springs when I'm living in Los Angeles.

By writing I can live in ways that I could not survive.

It might seem as the hardest thing to do, but you have to forget the guy who forgot about you.

A primary reason for my success in the classroom was that I couldn't forget that schooling was changing me and separating me from the life I enjoyed before becoming a student.

We share half our genes with the banana.

The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare...neither knew chocolate.