The Minister of Transport issued this appeal to motorists: Can anyone give him a lift to Leicester?

I believe in the separation of church and planet.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate

Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.

Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway.

Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it.

Never do things for money. It's always the things you do for love that turn out to pay the best.

Life has a very simple plot: first you're here and then you're not.

I've got soggy thighs. It must be dinner time.

What barrier is there that love cannot break?

Love is the secret language of the heart which everyone can understand.

It was not apathy or passiveness. For him, prayer was a display of the strongest possible activity.

The ancient Romans built their greatest masterpieces of architecture, their amphitheaters, for wild beasts to fight in.

I'd like to be the romantic lead one day, but I've got to grow my hair first.

I want to have fun, and I want to give people a good laugh.

Calm and order can be just as dangerous to democracy as uneasiness and disorder.

The thing I sort of get tired of hearing is if I don't hit home runs or don't get hits, that the pressure of the media is getting to me. Absolutely not. Believe me, it's not getting to me.

Receive the children in reverence, educate them in love, and send them forth in freedom.

Individualism is going around these days in uniform, handing out the party line on individualism.