The NSA may, or may not have rejected the invisible secret operative application form I never even bothered to have sent over to them. I'll never know...

The way to be invisible - is to truly be imaginary. But since you cannot imagine yourself, you have to clone your imagination into being an image of yourself. Imagine that.

A relationship is a process. If you have nothing to learn - you have a slave to teach. 's why schools are effective.

The only way to efficiently battle evil is to copy enough to know how to counter each argument, yet not enough to believe all the bullshit.

I think she's too single for me, and she thinks I'm with two other people. She also thinks she thinks, I think.

Some people are so much heaven to the square inch that life is simply hell, when she leaves you in order to go south for the winter. (Yes, women are people too, sometimes even threee.)

IQ's are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course you wouldn't, because the line is invisible.

Silence is the invisibility of talking. I'd take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I'd take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day, unless it's Tuesday.

When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Siamese twins from the future-past. Meow.

To fall in love twice, with the same person, you need to grow another heart. That's all I do in my secret underground laboratory at night...

My grandpa, unlike Jarod Kintz, was an Elder. Now that he's dead and gone, he's a ghost French wizard. And no one knows what French wizards are good at…

The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.

Besides, Mrs. Quesnt, did it never occur to you that we are not changing at all-that rather, we are simply becoming more ourselves?

When you feel that creeping self-doubt, acknowledge it. Write down your feelings in your journal... and then continue with your writing.

Friends tell each other the truth, and then friends stick around for the aftermath.

You become responsible for a long time for what you've tamed.

My faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.

I don't like to go to theaters, because I don't like the way most people behave in theaters.

The common sense of mankind demands that law shall not stop with the punishment of petty crimes by little people. It must also reach men who possess themselves of great power.

Wisdom is the health of the soul.

What if I bade you leave The cavern of the mind? There's better exercise In the sunlight and wind.