The New Deal began, like the Salvation Army, by promising to save humanity. It ended, again like the Salvation Army, by running flop-houses and disturbing the peace.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

One should never forbid what one lacks the power to prevent.

When you live with constant gratitude, your life will become a living prayer.

You'll need to suffer to make any real art.

It is not more vacation we need — it is more vocation.

‎"Nothing binds you except your thoughts; nothing limits you except your fear; and nothing controls you except your beliefs.

Ignorance is the worst form of slavery. (Paraphrased)

I am not here concerned with intent, but with scientific standards, especially the ability to tell the difference between a fact, an opinion, a hypothesis, and a hole in the ground.

I gave up trying to please others and started playing for myself, and because I love music, things naturally happened then. Funny how that works.

Mistakes are the necessary steps in the learning process; once they have served their purpose, they should be forgotten and not repeated.