The New York Times carries as much weight as the FBI, and if the New York Times says there's nothing to see between Trump and Russia and Putin, then there's nothing to see.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

Man is a measure of his mind.

We are all daughters of God in various stages of construction.

You are arrogant, " says the cat, "and you are in love. Either one of these things alone might be overcome, but together, they make for a stubborn combination.

I think it's important to find the little things in everyday life that make you happy.

Looking back on my achievements, it is fair to say that I am extremely proud of what I have done and accomplished so far.

It is too often seen, that the wiser men are about the things of this world, the less wise they are about the things of the next.

Not another flag has such an errand, carrying everywhere, the world around, such hope for freedom such glorious tidings.

I really don't like to lose.

If you feel tired midway through, give Neil Patrick Harris a Red Bull and throw some sheet music at him.

Best way to rob a bank is to own one.