The Old Testament is actually pretty raunchy. You might enjoy it.

I know every guy here, and they’re all pretty much jerks.

You’re supposed to pinch yourself – not the one you’re dreaming about.

Was she on some sort of Candid Camera version of This is Your Sucky Love Life?

How very wonderful friends the moon, the sea and the night are!

Never wish unto others what you wouldn't wish for yourself.

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.

You should always stand up for what you believe and never stand down to promise or protect your career.

When a man wants to relax, he will slob out and really relax. Or he will pursue a hobby - anything from building models to watching sport.

For me, I've worked hard for people to think I'm funny.

Now the truth is, a president really can't control the economy, although his policies do have some effect on it.

The best advice on the art of being happy is about as easy to follow as advice to be well when one is sick.

Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.

[It is a basic principle of a tyrant] to unarm his people of weapons, money and all means whereby they resist his power.