The Olive Garden is bringing back its 'Pasta Pass,' which lets you eat as much pasta as you want for seven weeks. In a related story, Chris Christie just suspended his campaign.

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

No one had ever given me any idea on how to handle it when the right one came along, but you weren't the right one for him.

No matter how much money you make, no matter how famous you are, you're not above going outside and cutting trees. I do it all the time.

It's almost embarrassing to go back into my liberal background because it was about as shallow a belief system as humanly possible.

I know that sounds a little bit corny, but I've found some solace in that. I hope art can continue to do that for people, I really do.

I really thought that love would save us all.

I'm probably taller than 90% of the men I meet.

It has been my experience that the better a man you are, the more folks there are who resent you for it, and find occasion to get angry at you no matter how kindly meant your deeds may be.

As so often before, liberty has been wounded in the house of its friends.

The more someone talks, the more they reveal about themselves and the more they reveal about the way something has affected them.

It's true that the human body is more vulnerable than the products of the human mind. We need to protect artists and journalists people to allow them to work.