The Pope also said that while he's in town he would like to go see 'The Book of Mormon.'

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Your own experience keeps taking you towards something. My book adds the hope that it's a better something.

When you say 'design, ' everybody thinks of magazine pages. So it's an emotive word. Everybody thinks it's how something looks, whereas for me, design is pretty much everything.

This must be a real horrorshow film if you're so keen on my viddying it.

I get to swim in the ocean every single day, which is a very, very important thing to do to stay connected.

You have to be out there and have a mound presence. You have to be real aggressive and be real confident. You have to put the hitters on defense.

Good taste rejects excessive nicety.

I'm not really an impersonator.

What you do for yourself is fleeting and dies with you. What you do for others has unending benefit and is eternal.

Once you start making money you have to put things into perspective.

Mercy is the golden chain by which society is bound together.